Ah, yes. Splits. Listen, listen, listen...and follow the directions.

 A lot of DXpeditions and really heavy pileups often work split.

What is a split? It means he is transmitting on one frequency and listening on another. It makes the two way traffic flow a lot better and the operator can handle a massive pileup a lot easier because the frequency he is transmitting on isn't overwhelmed by everyone and their cousin shouting on top of him.

The first rule of ham radio is you listen with your ears, not your mouth.

So you are spinning the dial and you hear something and get the call sign. You hit the laptop and check on the clusters and on QRZ dot com and sure enough! It's a DXPedition to Outer Slobovia! Rare DX!

You throw up your call and an angry voice answers "Split!" and you ignore him and hear the DX station say "Listening up. QR Zed."

You throw your call in again and someone else says "He's listening up." Again you try and hear angry voices return with "Split! He's listening up!"

Undaunted you try and try again and hear your call sign repeated back to you with a 5x9 signal report! Success! You fill out your card, add a few bucks for postage and a few months later it's returned with 'Not in log' scrawled across the back.

What happened? 

What happened is you broke the rules. You didn't listen and follow the instructions given to you by the DX station. He constantly explained he was listening up. You did this to yourself and have only yourself to blame.

After repeated warnings by others someone finally got sick and tired of you and worked you just to keep you from constantly stepping on the DX station. Someone simply worked you to get rid of you because you were being stupid and interfering with the DX station.

Instead of listening to the instructions of the DX station you doubled down on stupidity. Someone finally got tired of it and sent you packing. Don't blame some imaginary sad ham and don't pout and start telling everyone is being non inclusive. They're not. 

They tried to help you and you didn't listen to them. 

Any rare or semi rare DX entity is going to have a pileup probably 24/7. It is almost a given. The lulls are rare. If you find one, either by spinning the dial or on the clusters and hear the DX station and no pileup it's a pretty safe bet they are working split. If so listen for his to explain how to work him. 

As for the QSL card you have that says 'not in log' on the back, please feel free to take off that silly mask because you ain't the Lone Ranger.

I have one somewhere, too.